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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's been about 15 months since my (now ex) wife of 17 years left in the middle of the night.  I've gradually come to accept that this is my life now, but as for "normal"—well, when it happens, I'll let you know.

One of my coping mechanisms has been to get out and do some stuff my ex wouldn't have been interested in doing.  The combination of socialization and taking advantage of my new "freedom" helps, a bit.  That may be harder to manage if you have kids, though.

I'm looking forward to that magical two-year mark. [/quote]

I am a PP and one that took two years almost to the day to feel normal.  I did the above stuff too- I joined a few meetup groups and forced myself out of my comfort zone to try new things and meet people who didn’t know me as part of a couple.  I also planned fun activities for myself on the weekends I didn’t have the kids.

But there’s really no way through but through and no amount of trying makes it fast forward.  I will say I’m so much more of a stronger, independent woman than I ever was.  And so much happier if I’m honest, even though I didn’t want the divorce.  I enjoy doing things be myself (I never did before) and sometimes I really prefer that.  I have learned to love the freedom and flexibility of not having to take anyone else’s opinion into consideration.  [/quote]

I’m the OP, and thank you both – and everyone who has weighed in.  The fast forward button is a total fantasy, like winning the lottery.  I’m just tired of the endless noise in my head and pit in my stomach.  It is tough with the kids, because STBX is focused purely on his new life and they feel it and comment on it.  I find myself making excuses for him so they aren't angry or hurt and then I end up annoyed with myself for covering for him and him for being a jerk.  It just sucks.

I’m having a hard time mentally adjusting, but it is really good to hear that there are people who had this thrust upon them and still came out the other side happier.  I have a hard time imagining it, but I also never imagined this could happen and it did.

I am grateful for all of the kindness.   [/quote]

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