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[quote=Anonymous]Fresh off of grief, it is a shock to witness someone’s last moments. My mother died 2 months ago at an advanced age, in her own home but with a newer arrangement with 24/7 nursing care. She had heart failure but died with appointments and follow up care scheduled and was hoping to have an upcoming surgical procedure and hearing aids fitted.

I had accompanied her to medical appointments, visited her in the hospital (had a fall), drove her to errands. All the while kept wondering when hospice would be needed and trying to figure out what stage her heart failure was - my mom never asked. It was like her doctors played along because that’s what she needed to keep going.

Then, during a visit, she died. It was weirdly, oddly, a total shock. I know now that my mom died peacefully and under her own terms, as delusional as it may have seemed now and then. All said, I think facing the truth and her mortality would have hastened her death.

We are generally uncomfortable facing the issues around death and dying. My mom prepared and planned and made all funeral arrangements ahead of time, though. So even though she didn’t want to confront end of life issues she did (in her 60s) extensive preparation that ended up being a true gift to the family. [/quote]

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