Reply to Shouldering more of the parenting/household work while DW is pregnant, and having mixed feelings about how it’s going

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Reply to "Shouldering more of the parenting/household work while DW is pregnant, and having mixed feelings about how it’s going"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife is pregnant; she’s 9 weeks, so very early still. We also have a three year old son.

Since our son was born, it’s been a source of tension between us regarding how much of the household work/mental load she takes on. She’ll get frustrated that I’m not doing enough, I’ll get frustrated that she doesn’t recognize everything that I do. This argument ebbs and flows over time, but I take some responsibility for not stepping up as much as I should have.

DW has always been an anxious parent. She’s all about routine, so when something occurs with our son that disrupts that equilibrium, even if it’s something minor, she gets very stressed/anxious (ex. When the weather is bad and we can’t go to the playground, DS Going down for a nap a bit later, DS having a mini tantrum over not having the right socks, etc)

For the past three weeks, DW has been experiencing pretty bad nausea, and has generally been very tired. This happened when she was pregnant with DS, but obviously that was easier to manage without a kid.

Since she’s been sick, she can help out here and there with some parenting stuff and household tasks, but she spends a lot of her day resting, so I take on majority of the parenting/household tasks, and I’ve found that it’s….pretty manageable. I certainly wouldn’t say it’s been easy, it’s absolutely been challenging, but it just doesn’t seem like this Herculean task that DW makes it out to be, and I’m definitely getting much less help from my wife than she would normally get from me (which, to be clear, I’m not complaining about, I completely understand why she’s unable to in her state.)

Here’s the thing though, I’m finding that I feel much less stressed without her micromanaging everything that I do, both parenting wise and household wise. L[b]ike if DS goes down for a nap at 115 instead of 1, the world will keep turning.[/b] I can clean the house without being nitpicked about every little thing not being up to her standards. Most importantly, I feel like I’m finally building a bond with DS; that’s not to say that DW has been supportive of us building our relationship, she absolutely has, but it always felt like when we’d do stuff on our own, she’d get a little jealous.

Anyways, I’m having mixed feelings about this whole experience. I feel bad that my wife is so sick, but at the same time, it’s sort of been nice and almost easier to do things on my own with DS.[/quote]

The world will keep turning, but are you doing what's best for DS or are you just trying o to be fun cool Disney dad?[/quote]

He had an amazing and easy Saturday! 
That’s all he apparently needs to make 24/7/365 conjectures. [/quote]

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