Reply to When did your child stop their visits to other parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]As with many things this varies with the quality of the relationship and the people involved, as well as the resources and circumstances of the families in question. In all cases there’s a shift in the teen years, sometimes only in attitude.

In the best cases, things get more informal, reflecting the child’s greater independence. So maybe instead of Every Wednesday Dinner, non-custodial parent does soccer pickup Weds night and kid stays over until Thursday. We have a friend whose father essentially has full custody during the travel soccer season because he’s an assistant coach and it makes the logistics easier— meanwhile in the summer he barely sees his kid because that’s when his work trade show is. Healthy and mature parents adapt.

There was a super high conflict divorce in which the 16 y/o boy did not want to see his father, at all. His mother insisted that he go because she knew the second she was late to one visit there would be contempt filed and she truly couldn’t afford it— he had been trying to bury her in legal bills. The kid went and refused to speak. Would not say one word to the father. Not a word. Dad raged and lost his mind in voicemails, and filed for contempt (despite the fact the kid had gone to his house).

The sad outcome for the dad is that he now pays CS on 100% and the judge gave the kid discretion. Because the kid was allowed to explain his reasoning, and what his forced visitation had done for the past 10 years of his life. It’s sad that the person with more money gets to hold it over the spouses head.[/quote]

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