Reply to Does your spouse use you as an excuse not to deal with his family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you think you're helping him by allowing this, but I think that you're just enabling the emotional abuse and manipulation to continue. [/quote]
+1

Even if it is better than when you saw them all the time it is still not healthy. I did something similar and it really came back to bite me. Ex had a midlife crisis (people who don't do the work with this kind of background are more likely I've learned) and he started acting similarly toward the kids after the divorce, also much more like his family of origen. I would never have believed it was a possiblilty. Sleeping dogs don't always stay that way, in his case the stress of a layoff and an anniversary year of some bad childhood stuff pulled the fig leaf of "really different" right off. Now my kids are having to navigate stuff that I had allowed him to avoid and it's getting worse. I hope you never hear that your ILs have been recast as "warm and loving" and you are now "a shitty parent". Stuff that isn't worked out directly gets worked out other ways. 
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