Reply to “I don’t want to behave like this anymore”…helping our explosive 8 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since he feels bad about it, I think a lot of the consequences should focus on him making amends to his brother. His brother gets special time with parents, picks the TV show, gets to go play after dinner while older brother cleans the kitchen. If you can tantrum proof a spot in the house, stick the tantrum kid there and focus on the little one. Or have a spot that is fun for the younger one and send him during the tantrum so he can be safe.[/quote]
So, we’ve tried this. But he refuses to move and often says he’s afraid he’ll damage something if he’s put some where. He says “no I can’t go I’ll break something”…so we’re learning when he gets mad, he’s getting physical. 
We brainstormed a punching bag but he won’t MOVE to a spot to punch, he just screams where he is (kitchen/living room).[/quote]

Pp had two suggestions. To make a fun, safe spot for the youngest to go.  Do that one then. [/quote]

For a while we had to do this. But I went with the younger one who was usually scared and upset (and frankly too young to be alone much - think 2/3 - we had a bigger age gap).

My older child is now doing much better and rarely gets physical anymore but has said some really terrible things to their sibling. I now require them to leave the room. I honestly don’t know if it’s the right thing to do but I had a vicious older sibling and won’t allow my younger one to be put through the same. Honestly it’s been incredibly painful to see my child improve at school and socially and then come home and unload on their sibling. I understand they are working hard all day and we time medication to be optimized for school but it’s still really really painful. [/quote]

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