Reply to I guess I don’t get why infidelity is a big deal if sex before marriage isn’t

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Reply to "I guess I don’t get why infidelity is a big deal if sex before marriage isn’t"

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[quote=Anonymous]For most it’s not a mistake it’s the betrayal that follows her in the form of lying and gaslighting.

Scenario 1
Spouse comes home from happy hour comes right up to me with tears in their eyes and says I got carried away, met someone I found so incredibly attractive I could not say no and we slept together, I am so sorry and I will take steps to make sure this never happens again.  
That’s a mistake and now I would have all the information before me to make an informed decision on our future.

Scenario 2
Spouse meets someone at happy hour they find incredibly attractive, they sleep together. But this time they withdraw the affection normally meant for me and deposit it elsewhere, they lie to me on a daily basis, our sex life plummets and I don’t know why. Long face-to-face talks, letters and attempts to improve our relationship are met with a stone wall until the day where I click one button too many on the computer and all is revealed.

I will take scenario one any day of the week, scenario two is pretty much unforgivable  
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