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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "My DE kids are teens - AMA"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, thanks for doing this! I’m a former donor and I wonder about my recipient family(ies) all the time and hope they are happy and well. So, for one of my donations, the clinic inadvertently discharged me home with a form that had the intended father’s name and address on it. I still have it in a file cabinet somewhere. This was from about 15 years ago when anonymous donations were the norm and semi-anonymous or open donations were pretty much unheard of. Would it be horribly intrusive and unwelcome to send a letter just saying “Hello, I might be your child’s donor. I’m open to contact, but please disregard if you prefer not to hear from me”? I should probably have shredded it a long time ago and pretended I never saw it, but I’ve held onto it all these years. I believe the recipients were a same sex couple or possibly single father. Any thoughts?[/quote] This is the OP. I always wonder whether the donor thinks about the kids and wonders whether they are loved and well cared for. I would love to put the donor's worries at ease and tell her how intensely grateful I am to her for giving me those boys. I feel I owe it to her to make sure that they are cherished because she took a huge risk in entrusting me with her genetic offspring.[/quote] I’m a different donor. I’m 45 now and donated when I was 23. The money allowed me to quit my very toxic job, move across the US to DC where I found a job and career that I love. I also met my husband here and have two healthy happy kids and a very nice life in general. I do think about the person that my egg helped to make and hope he or she had a wonderful childhood and is a happy young adult. They’d be about the age I was when I donated. I signed the form that I’d be open to contact but have not heard anything. On retrieval day, the recipients left a very nice letter for me and told me a lot about themselves, their struggles with infertility, their personal and professional interests and why they selected me. It meant a lot to me that they took the time to share so much with me.[/quote]
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