Reply to DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up

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Reply to "DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Omg whhhhhyyyy did you buy this house? It’s essentially going to turn into a nightmare of unnecessary trauma for your DD bc all she’ll remember is how excited she was to get this lovely bedroom and how you prevented her from having it for no reason at all and then took it a step further to destroy and rip out all the things she loved about it rather than let her enjoy it!
[b]That is next level cruelty imo.[/b]

Why not just let her have the extra smaller room as a playroom for now and a study/guest room layer?
The sneaking out thing would absolutely never have crossed my mind for a 9 year old. And if she does that even once, then seal up the door. Problem solved![/quote]

You have got to be a troll, or a spoiled person. Or it's Friday not and you're Drunk Responding.[/quote]

Really? 
How do you think you might feel, Op, if your DH showed you a beautiful home that had a gorgeous master bedroom with spacious master bath that you’ve always dreamed of, and as soon as you started planning aloud about all the ways in which you were looking forward to decorate it, he stopped you and said “oh no no no, sweetie that room isn’t for you. I thought we’d just keep that room for when my mother visits. We can have the bedroom in the basement!”[/quote]

You are not responding to OP. I'm a DP you're responding to. I just back OP. There is no comparing an adult in a main bedroom to a child in a kid's room. I think you are seeing this through some trauma lens of your own childhood. [/quote]

Maybe.
But from OPs description I think I could probably pass on my trauma lens to ther DD bc it honestly sounds like she specifically wants to withhold this from her daughter simply because she wants it so much.
And what’s more, she wants to take it a step further and knock out the builtins that made the room attractive to DD in the first place. So yes to me it reads as “no you can’t have this dreamy room that you love  that no one else is going to be using…and also I’m going to go ahead and destroy all the things about that room that make you love it. Because fair is fair.”[/quote]

I am the PP who you or someone is accusing me of being OP but isn't, and the PP of the comment you are responding to. I get your point. But I see it through the lens of the appearance of playing favorites and creating a sense of entitlement. In one of my responses I said make one of the small bedrooms really cute and girly.

My guess based on the description is this was not a bedroom originally and was converted. I had a house that was beautiful and seen repeatedly (I renovate and resell houses) and the only one I couldn't sell quickly was the one that had a bedroom that had easy access to the outside. Sneaking out, yes, but easier to get in unnoticed as well. Finally sold the house to a childless couple.

Moreover, to say to DS that you'll get the room when DD leaves for college might just make it so he can't wait for her to leave. Why create that potential friction.

The fact is there never should have been an expectation that DD would get the big room with a door to the outside.  [/quote]

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