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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Surely your cousin explained why?

My husband is on the autism spectrum. When we got married, his close family was there, but he couldn't invite any friends... because he had no friends. 20 years later, he still doesn't have friends. He socializes with mine. He doesn't know how to sustain a friend relationship, or a long-distance relationship with anyone who isn't extremely close to him (so no extended relatives) and he doesn't even try. He doesn't even realize what he's missing, so he's not depressed about it. He lives a happy autistic life.

Are you someone like that?
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I have to ask why you married him?  This must have had a terrible effect on you and your children's lives
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Because he pursued me, and has been a loving, if completely atypical and quirky, marriage partner. He has a high IQ, and I greatly respect his contributions to his field of research. He's been working in cancer research for years. There are plenty like him in all STEM disciplines! We have one ASD kid with a high IQ, and one neurotypical kid with a high IQ.  Which is not to say our marriage hasn't been full of ups and downs! But instead of gambling, drinking or womanizing... he has this very cerebral view of the world and no need for socialization. I go out with my own friends ;-)

For OP, I had one more thought: is it possible that this relative who called you out of the blue has a developed a drug/drinking habit, or has dementia or a brain tumor? Sometimes symptoms can include aggression and paranoia, and it might be within the realm of possibles that they would fabricate something about you. If that's the case, then maybe there's no family reunion, and no one actually hates you... which would make sense, actually. If you don't have a lot of contact with them, they probably don't think enough about you to hate you!

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