Reply to Committed to making it work but struggling

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Committed to making it work but struggling "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Man here.  There are many many threads here about similar situations.  Objectively, what your husband did was wrong — and he should be ashamed of his actions.  If you want to blame and divorce, then go ahead.  However, as other threads have shown — if he has a need and expectation for regular sex with his wife — “to have and to hold” per the old school vows — then were his needs reasonable and were you able to meet them?  Probably not for many reasons.  And, I am not sure he was able to meet your needs for love, affection, conversation, etc?  But most men cheat for a reason — and they are condemned for it — and you get to choose how to proceed — knowing that both women and men will understand whatever choice you make.[/quote]

OP here - this is fair. He has a very healthy sexual appetite, and after learning of the initial cheating over 5 years ago, I've never felt the same toward him and have not been able to have sex multiple times a week (more like 1-2 times/week).

I also think he's frequently looking at porn throughout the day and we both work from home. This grosses me out. So it's very hard to force myself to have sex multiple times/week with him. [/quote]

I agree with the poster who said that no, this is not "fair." His sexual appetite is his thing to manage. And it still is his thing to manage.

I don't think you are going to get over your resentment and dislike toward him if you are making yourself have sex with him 1-2 times a week. Your therapist (who sucks) says you need to build back your marriage from the ground up, and a relationship doesn't start with maintenance sex. Sexual desire builds along with *mutual* attraction. If a fresh start is what you both need, then I think it should really be a fresh start and not you catering to his "needs" at your own expense. This includes emotional needs too.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics