Reply to Questions for People in Their 50s With Career Success and Family "Success" (success defined as deep satisfaction)

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[quote=Anonymous]Interesting thread.

1. What did you find rewarding about your job?  What have you enjoyed?

Fed lawyer and have loved my job for most of the last almost three decades.  Some of the political appointees we’ve worked closely with have been a nightmare but the vast majority from either party have not. I have loved working with smart, dedicated people and the extremely tight-knit culture in my office.  Client offices are very appreciative of my work, and I’ve developed a lot of friendships through the years. I’m paid more than I ever dreamed I would be to analyze new problems every day.  Zero travel and 99% of my work done via email. An introvert’s dream.

2. What do you wish you did differently?

Nothing, really either work- or family-wise, except as noted below. I’m a very content woman in my mid fifties not sure whether I’ll retire at 56.5 or 62 (a lot of Feds grapple with this exact choice.). If my DH were answering this question, or I on his behalf, it would be a much tougher thing to respond to.  He’s had an enormously stressful job for the last couple decades, which pays extremely well. It comes with much more flexibility that most high-paying jobs but is hellish for someone of his personality type.  He’s hated it and been stressed out by it since the beginning, but he’s excellent at it and it comes with a lot of perks besides salary and reasonable flexibility.  He is obsessed with setting our family up for the future.

3. What "mattered" to you at the end of the day, now in your mid 50s?  Are you happy you pursued career achievement?  Has the money made a meaningful difference?

I have always wanted to have a happy marriage, time with my kids, and financial security after a childhood with a lot of turbulence and fear. I’m happy to have achieved those things, though my DH contributed hugely to all of the above. I certainly don’t regret working full time or being a Fed, though I never was interested in a “big job”.  I feel content with a GS-15 salary, very healthy TSP balance, and pension to come. Many of my friends from law school have vastly more impressive jobs than I do, and I love hearing about them but don’t feel any angst over my more plodding course.

4. How did you handle raising your family if you are happy with what you did?  What would you have done differently?

No regrets on the family front. We have two young adult kids and a teen, and they are all happy and doing well.  Being two full-time working parents has never been too much of a struggle, but we’ve had plenty of support in addition to the flexibility of both our jobs—local family who love helping out, great sports carpools, good child care that we could easily afford.

My husband’s job stress has been the biggest negative factor in our lives, and I’m glad he’s looking to retire in the next few years. I think he would have been pretty content with a job like mine, though he does like to be the one in charge. I hope when he looks back he’ll conclude it was all worth it.  He would absolutely have made a change within months if his job were compromising time with the kids and me. [/quote]

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