Reply to “Don’t take on teen’s emotions”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our therapist has taught us to "validate".  Validate their feelings.

So Kid is upset because, I dunno, "teacher hates me".  You acknowledge:  It must be really hard to be in a class where you feel that way".

Didn't get to go to the party?  "I understand you feel really disappointed".

You aren't agreeing with her - you aren't saying the teacher DOES hate her.  You are just acknowledging her feelings.  You aren't offering 20 solutions, just validating her feelings.  It really helps the kid self soothe and defuses many situations before they spiral.[/quote]

I do that but it doesn't stress me out any less. Same if dh is wfh and having a shit day. I absorb all the energy.[/quote]

Sounds like you may be an empath. Me too. You can search strategies online.

Here are two quick hits:

https://happiful.com/6-tips-to-help-protect-your-empath-energy

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a40435738/empath-meaning/

[/quote]

I do a lot of this but it doesn't help. I find people's emotions overwhelm me, and my family is relentless: started with dd at 6 this am freaking out about some top she couldn't find, then moved on to ds being grumpy about tests, and now dh is in my face about work and how today is going to be horrendous and why is this happening and this client is so tough...I can't take it anymore. It ruins my life.[/quote]

I’m sorry PP. Yes, it’s all these little things. Today it was a freakout because the weather was going to make her hair frizzy. And yes, when the *whole* family is having a moment and directing it at you, it’s a lot. Are you seeing someone? I highly recommend finding a great therapist if you don’t have one. It’s so incredibly helpful.[/quote]

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