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[quote=Anonymous]I am dealing with a similar issue where my 6th grader is friends with the sporty kids which is how I word it because idk what is popular or not, and a neighbor is complaining to me about his kid being left out but my son reports that when they play a game like foursquare at recess, it’s a rough and tumble game and they’re all OK with it except for the kid who’s complaining and that this kid gets upset when he gets out and meanwhile, my son says, but the rest of them get out too and don’t get upset about it, etc.

I have really spent a lot of time this week analyzing and stressing about this issue.  I think the crux of the issue is that the complaining kid is insecure. For example, my oldest son is what we would call a dork but he is secure about it and he has a lot of dorky friends and he loves high school. He recently told me he sits alone on the bus in the morning (he said he listens to music and reads the news, and that it’s 7am and everyone is tired and no one wants to talk), but this doesn’t bother him because he’s so secure with himself. I really don’t know how you raise secure kids and because I don’t know that I did anything special in that regard.

What I do if my kids complaining about any issues is just to try to get them to hang out with other kids who are nice, etc. and try to help arrange play dates etc. with those kids.  my 3rd grade daughter sometimes feels left out and I try to tell her to focus her energy on people who return it, etc. and not worry about those other people. [/quote]

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