Reply to How to navigate care for aging parent(s) when siblings live elsewhere?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a PP who is posted here a couple times telling you that you need to focus on yourself and set your own boundaries. You act as though being local you are the default caregiver. I am the main helper for my elder parents even though I live three hours away. (I visit frequently and manage in home paid caregivers.) I have a sibling who lives about 40 minutes away from them who does far less than me. I do not resent that **at all** because I realize that everything I do for my parents is my choice. My sibling does not feel the need to do any of this and is fine for my parents to muddle along, be alone, live in a nursing home, etc. I am never resentful of him because everything I do for my parents—which includes going there and spending weeks away from my family to help them through health crises—I do voluntarily. I would never, never expect him to go live with them or spend weeks with them. He has his own life and his own kids and he does not want to do this. That is not unreasonable. He has what he is willing to do, I have what I am willing to do, and my parents will just have to live with that.[/quote]

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