Reply to How to navigate care for aging parent(s) when siblings live elsewhere?

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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the responses.

Unfortunately, there is no pot of money to pay me for my time...nor do I want any money from my parents.

There isn't any money for FT paid help either (my BFF is going through a very similar situation, so I know what round the clock help costs in my area...wowza is it high!).

I still have my own place and my own family; I've just been forced to stay with my parents.

If they sell their home, it might pay for assisted living for a couple of years. Maybe. Assisted living in my area is also very, very expensive.

My parents want to age in place. Honestly, I'd be willing to cover 60-70% of the responsibility to allow them to age in place if only my siblings would step up and do something.

To the poster who said nobody with kids can check out for 6-12 weeks, I disagree. They can work remotely, so they wouldn't need to take time off. Their spouse can handle the kids for a week at a time (I'm talking about cumulative weeks, not back to back). How can I be so sure? Because these are people who periodically travel for work and somehow their spouses manage adulting and parenting without them.

My siblings live within driving distance (or a very short commuter flight)...it's not as though they live in another time zone.

I just want them to help out. Why is that so hard for them to understand?

You want to know the worst part? I answered the phone at their home recently and a distant relative was calling to check in. They said they had recently run into one of my siblings and they thought it was "so nice how Larla is stepping up to help out our parents." Larla is my sister, and let's just say she is not helping out in any meaningful way. I was floored. I had to listen to this relative praise my sister who has literally done nothing beyond showing up at family events/holidays and essentially acting like a guest (staying at our parents' house and "volunteering" to stay with them as I do the grocery shopping or suggesting she will entertain them as I "take a break to pick up dinner...and offering to pick up the bill for carryout." Thank you, Mother Teresa!

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