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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all. I’m 45 and I don’t know why I’ve been suddenly struggling with all this for the first time. There’s something about the ages my girls are now that makes a lot of memories come up.

One more question: I know both my parents had it “worse” than I did, as far as the way their parents treated them.

What I don’t understand is how the cultural shift happened. Why even my parents themselves would be shocked if I told them I beat MY kids with a belt, you know. How did “times change” if our parents’ generation still doesn’t admit they did anything wrong? How did society make such a big shift? [/quote]

You are correct that it likely has to do with the ages of your daughters.

I think the cultural shift happened slowly, the same way our culture has become less accepting of other wrongs (e.g. sexism, bigotry of all kinds, etc.). It may have helped that subsequent generations became more mobile and lived farther away from their parents. That kind of distance and time can give some people the freedom they need to start to break away from familial patterns of abuse.

And even though your parents can't admit wrong doing, I think some parents can. It is likely your parents just aren't emotionally healthy or mature enough to acknowledge what they did because the shame would be overwhelming. It sucks because you deserve an apology, the way you deserved a better childhood. But you are an adult now; you can tell yourself the words you deserve to hear from your parents but may not, because they are too weak.[/quote]

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