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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Get a grip on yourself, OP. You and your husband are not responsible for your in-laws' comfort in their waning years.

There are government agencies that help keep seniors keep body and soul together - call their county's senior helpline and ask what services are available for your FIL and MIL. It could be meals on wheels, or something else. When they cannot live independently, they can go into a Medicaid facility.

For the funeral, do your due diligence on the VA option. Make all the calls. Pitch in whatever is needed for a minimalist funeral. The dead won't care, and the living can't afford fancy, so minimal it is. If FIL and MIL can't afford to attend, they can't afford to attend.

There is no need to panic over the future. Your first duty is to your children. You will not cover basic costs for your in-laws. Period.

[/quote]

Have you been through this personally?[/quote]

PP you replied to. You decide: my MIL has just enough money to pay for aides in her terminal Parkinson's period. The state provides in-home services as well. Other relatives have relied solely on state services.

I'm giving tough love to OP, to snap her out of her hand-wringing, which is hurting her and not helping. It's not because I lack sympathy for all the elders who find themselves lacking resources, or all the adult kids who watch their parent struggle. But at some point, you've got to make do with what's available.[/quote]

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