Reply to Give me ALL the talking points for talking to parents about downsizing and/or moving

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Reply to "Give me ALL the talking points for talking to parents about downsizing and/or moving"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's their life, give them the gift of your acceptance. Old people have their own ways, but they are adults and they have every right to choose where and how they live.

Given how pushy you come off, maybe they are afraid that if they let go of their house, you'll stick them into the nursing home promptly against their wishes too.[/quote]

I think op's fear is not irrational. Taking care of someone who needs a LOT of help and is out of state is basically impossible to do very well, huge source of stress and guilt, logistically a nightmare, and doesn't lead to the best decisions and options. My dh's family just went through it and is still dealing with it. At the same time I get her parents would prefer autonomy where they are, and perhaps they will live to 95 in amazing health in their own home. It's the dream scenario and I've seen that happen as well, BUT, even in that scenario, they will get lonely and more housebound once they can't drive anymore, and won't get the regular family visits they otherwise would get if they are that far. So imo it is best to have that autonomous living not far from children. Op's parents are still youngish but the older they get the harder it is to make a big move like that. I'd show them really great houses they can afford near op, talk about the financial benefit of house sale money, the travel...[/quote]

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