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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband is extremely non-expressive. He’s not a words guy, doesn’t have a high libido, doesn’t express emotions unless he’s really upset.

We went through a rough patch recently because he was overwhelmed with a stressful job and two young kids and got very resentful about how our life turned out and was snippy and mean.

We went to therapy and the resentment seems to have gone (It’s been over a month since the last incident) but it’s replaced with… nothing.

He pulls his weight at home, he’s polite to me. We talk about logistics. Occasionally we’ll have sex and it’s good.

I feel a total lack of love from him. I think it’s reasonable for spouses to express love every day in small ways. For instance, sharing an interesting article he read, saying that he’s looking forward to cuddling on the couch together after kids go to bed, suggesting a date night idea, just any 5-second indication that he cares.

He feels that doing this a couple times a week is enough, and I should just know he loves me even if he’s just spent the whole day working/talking logistics/greeting me with small talk and an expressionless face.

I’ve tried using the approaches  we learned in therapy to share how important it is to hear a few loving words. I’ve tried giving him lots of space and not taking abt this at all so he doesn’t feel pressured or defensive. But I think this is just who he is as a person. 
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Your feelings are valid, of course. However, he may feel henpecked and withdraws as a result. You could be in a pusuer-avoidant dynamic. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-pursuer-distancer-dynamic/

I would also suggest that if you say he's doing this a couple of times a week but you need it every day, you might be a little too needy and are actually being dismissive of his efforts. By your own account, he IS TRYING, it's just not enough for you.

He might also be guarded with emotions because of the way you've reacted to them in the past. I'm not saying that's for sure in your relationship, but it's a common thing with men. There's a Catch-22 -- women complain their men are emotional unavailable, but if their man expresses emotions, their partner can't handle it and react poorly. And so the men figure out the safest thing is to not express emotions, which then cause their partner to complain they're emotionally unavailable.

Individual therapy for both of you might help. You could try couples therapy after. Although I'm generally very wary of couples therapy. That's usually just a check-the-box step en route for divorce and a lot of women use it as a way to convince their man it's over.

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