Reply to Give me ALL the talking points for talking to parents about downsizing and/or moving

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[quote=Anonymous]You seem to think that your parents' current location is not as appealing for someone elderly as your location, but if I were elderly (and I'm getting there), there is no way I'd be moving from a blue state (if that's where they are) to a red state (again assuming), given the lack of a social safety net or other protections in the potential new place.

So the first person who needs to do some thinking is you: What are your biggest concerns? Which of those are about your parents' well-being rather than your own convenience?

Cleaning out a big house full of stuff is a drag (I know, I've done it), but the people whose house I was emptying were never willing to consider the possibility that no one else was going to want their stuff. They *were* willing to allow a little cleaning out so that there were wider, safe paths for them to walk in. And when the remaining half of a couple was finally moving to assisted living, we discussed what to take in terms of what would be nice for her. It turned out that the chair she always sat in was not her favorite; it was the one she picked so her husband could have The Good Chair. So The Good Chair got reupholstered and moved, and that was sort of the theme of the move: We're going to move you into your new home, and it's going to be a nice place that you can stay in as long as you want.

Have you/have they thought about what the years ahead will look like? Do they like their doctors? Are their doctors young enough that they'll be practicing for the next 20 years? Are your parents' friends stick around, or moving someplace warmer? How easy is it go get around their town/your town once they can't drive? How would they make new friends in your area if they moved? How would they sustain those friendships?

Also, moving is expensive. It sounds like you're imagining them buying a house, but how long will they be able to live there? 10 years? 15? Some people live independently until the day they die, but that's not typical. [/quote]

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