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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hope for what?

Life is not a Bollywood film. What exactly are you expecting?

I say this as a woman who made our marriage like a romance novel upon request until I got cancer.[/quote]

OP here. Hope for us to be happy together. [b]Hope for me to stop doubting whether he loves me and parlaying that doubt into fights.[/b]

[b]My husband has always been like this.[/b] I realize that I can get over it when life is fine overall, but when I’m having a really difficult time (at my very intense job, with recent political events that directly endanger my loved ones’ lives, constant kid illnesses, etc) I just really struggle not to have a safe haven where I can feel loved. I don’t think connecting for 5 min in a loving way is a “romance novel.”[/quote]

OP, this is a YOU problem. And you are pushing your DH away. Do some deep work in therapy on your childhood, family of origin, ability to emotionally regulate, etc. Life as a single mom would be more stressful w/o any of the several times a week romance. You picked someone who is not too demonstrative and now you want him to become someone else and you are creating a tense and unhappy home for your children, who may have to have 2 homes. Your husband is a stand in for an internal drama and patterns from the past. You might want to find a therapist who is Gottman trained.

PP, I am sorry to read of your cancer diagnosis and hope your treatment is going well and that you are getting adequate support. All the best to you on your healing journey. [/quote]

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