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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DP. Bickering aside, does anyone have suggestions for *how* one might start accepting the death and illness and loss that becomes inevitable in midlife? It’s one thing to say, “don’t feel this way about sickness and death of older people you love, it’s not a tragedy.” It’s another to actually accept it and not despair. [/quote]

I feel myself doing some pre-grieving for my parents.  It's not constant and doesn't consume me.  But I let my mind wander a bit to how it will feel when they are no longer here.  I mull writing an obituary, even if I've never actually written it.  Or let myself think "oh this would be a good story for the funeral".  It's small moments.

I also think just being realistic about longevity is good practice.  That friend whose struggled with cancer or something might be taken in a few years from that thing.  It's ok to acknowledge this.  You don't need to TELL them that, you do this internally.

Have you never experienced any death or grief?  Sometimes it's shocking and sometimes it's not.  It can still be sad, even if it's expected.  But it's hard to do ALL the grieving before it ever happens.
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