Reply to Grow up in a large (4+ kids) family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oldest of five here.  In some ways, growing up in a large family was fun, and I love all of my brothers and sisters, but especially as the oldest I was put in a mock parenting/babysitting role from the age of 10.  Not so great. My younger siblings, who are in their mid-30s, still don't take responsibility for things - they just think I will do it. We also didn't travel much or have new clothes, etc, though my parents did provide some $ for college, which I appreciated.

I have an only, and would not have more than 2 kids.  There are three reasons why - we can't afford a big family, I want to be able to focus more individual attention on my child, and I would not want to be a SAHM like my mother was, which if I had that many kids, would be a necessity. My parents also had a tough time adjusting to empty nest, and are now divorced.  [/quote]

This describes my situation exactly, except that I am the oldest of 6 and my parents are still (unhappily) married and not adjusting well to the recently emptied nest.  I think it is hard to keep your marriage strong with so many kids because it is next to impossible to have any time alone together.  My parents were high school sweethearts and now I feel like they hardly know each other.  Unless they are talking about us (their kids) or the grandkids, they have nothing in common and have totally different ideas of where and how to spend retirement. It is very sad.

As far as being the oldest of 6, it really sucked.  I was the defacto babysitter by age 10 and had way more responsibility placed on me than I could handle. My mom also treated me more like her confidante/best friend rather than a mom, which messed me up in ways I didn't understand until I saw a therapist in my 20s. I also never got any alone time with my dad. I love my siblings, but I'm not really "close" to any of them in the way that my husband is with only 2 sisters.  With 6 kids, it is just a constant shifting of factions and alliances.  The chaos can drive you insane.[/quote]

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