Reply to Has anyone been able to turn around a selfish / ungrateful tween/ young teen?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Has anyone been able to turn around a selfish / ungrateful tween/ young teen? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I’m going to assume that this is not a new development that is totally different from your daughter’s personality before. If she had recently changed, I would definitely consider getting her screened for depression or anxiety. But if this is not a new thing, accept the fact that your parenting style (while it worked great for your son and is probably inherently good) is not a great fit for her.

Some kids need more explicit help to learn things. Talk about winning and losing and being a good winner and good loser. Praise her every time you see her being a good loser (or even a not-bad loser). Talk about it if you see it on TV. Play card games, etc so she can practice at home.

Similarly, talk about being an inclusive friend and how she feels when she is not included. Talk about tv shows, movies etc as this comes up. If you see her being inclusive (even if it’s not above and beyond) praise her for it.

As for not contributing, set clear expectations and family consequences. Keep your reactions to her not complying as low key as possible, but stick to consequences and be consistent.

There are a ton of parenting books out there. I found the Explosive Child and Dan Shapiro’s Parent Child Journey helpful but we were starting in a different place with similar issues. What works for us is positive feedback where possible, thoughtful ignoring of some things (for example ignoring complaints about chores if the get done with just 1 reminder), and an ever evolving reward chart to work on the next behavior. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics