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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would consider us to be wealthy (early 40s, about $10M net worth) and we're probably somewhere in the middle. I think you have to define "flaunt".

We present as UMC for sure - fit, nice clothes and accessories, nice skin/hair/teeth, hobbies like golf and tennis. We go on very nice vacations and often stay in really nice accommodations. But we're not ones to post social media photos of ourselves in first class or staying at the Four Seasons. So in that way, no I don't think we're flashy. Plus, we know people worth triple-digit-million dollars and fly private, so we're well aware of broader context.

But we do drive nice luxury cars and I have nice jewelry and bags. So I'm sure some people would see me getting out of my (white) luxury SUV, wearing a Moncler jacket, and wearing a Love bracelet and think I'm the height of flash.[/quote]

This is the evidence that flashy people don't perceive themselves as flashy because they know even flashier people. 
I'm the same age, have more than you, and choose not to live like this. This isn't because I'm "better" than you - not at all! - but simply because I am the wealthiest in family and my social circle, so I prefer to fly under the radar, for reasons you can well imagine.

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PP. Yes, I'll admit we worry about family for sure. We're the wealthiest by multiple step functions, and I'm always a bit anxious with how much they know. But the reality is, I also don't want to live my life squirreling things away out of fear. I prided myself on being super low-key for years (when we were paying off our massive student loans, for example), but I also think life is short and if I like something, I should buy it. We're also the wealthiest in our immediate social circle too, but that social circle includes finance, big law, and specialist physician types who are all HENRYs.

And I wouldn't even say the people wealthier than me are flashy, to your first point. I honestly just think many of them are simply living their lives. So if that means flying private to their 20-acre third home in Wyoming, they do it. I think too often we see someone doing something luxe and think they must be doing it to garner envy. They're not spending their money *at* anyone - at least I'm certainly not. Do some people purposely enjoying bragging and creating envy? For sure. But my experience is that people who really have the wealth just go about living their lives.

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PP you replied to. I totally understand your point, about spending money on things we enjoy vs. spending money to impress others. 
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