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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m wondering how other non-American families who come from more collectivist cultures navigate the teen years with their American teens. [/quote]

I am an immigrant and personally have not had a difficult time with it, since I can at 16, and understand the culture fairly well. DH has had a MUCH more difficult time. We finally had a ‘Come to Jesus’ type conversation where I point blank told him that if he continued down the path he was on, he will have a child who as an adult, will never talk to him. He absolutely loves her, so is trying to do better. Being less judgmental, not so much nagging, more understanding of her POV, etc. [/quote]

This has happened in a way to my niece. My BIL is from Pakistan and, while he's a great guy, he's quite a bit more controlling of his kids. This was most true for his daughter (my niece). At any rate, as an adult in her late 20s, she'll pulling away more and more and making her own life far far away from her parents.[/quote]

This is happening with my BIL's daughter. He (immigrated here very young, but still with strong old country views) was very controlling and I think he thought she would stick around as the caretaker of the younger children. She finished her college degree and is pulling away. I stay out of it (because ILs, you know) but I'm secretly cheering for her.
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