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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a 55-year old woman. Married, no kids.

My parents died young, both from illnesses.

I was 31 when my mother died, and 40 when my father passed away.

I don't have siblings.

I feel that I'm still struggling with my parents' deaths in certain areas of my life. I feel jealousy whenever I see women (or men) my age on an outing with their parents, for instance. 
Or a mother and daughter having a chat in a coffee shop over coffee and a slice of cake. Simple things.

Or MIL and SIL going out for brunch.

Or a friend showing me pictures of her elderly mother on her cell phone.

Things like these can affect my mood for a couple of hours. I get sad and listless and I withdraw.

I am very happily married but I still feel lonely a lot of the time.

I also never had an opportunity to say a proper 'goodbye' to my parents, even though I was with my mom when she died. 
Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly in hospital in the early hours. I was staying at his house 10 minutes away.

How can I make myself more resilient?  How do I stop the examples given from triggering me?[/quote]

I mean this as gently as possible, but did you undergo grief counseling? It sounds like you might benefit from it, even now. Or if you went previously, maybe a seek some more? Because you don't have to live that way.  It's normal to be sad, of course, but it shouldn't affect you to the point of being intrusive in your thoughts. [/quote]

OP here. Thank you for your feedback.

No, I have never had grief counseling. 
My husband suggested it but I dismissed it at the time, thinking I would cope on my own.

I have gotten used to my parents not being around after all this time, but I still feel sad for not being able to share and celebrate special occasions or milestones like a new job, a new house, Mother's Day, the holidays, birthdays and so on. 
Or just a simple chat with my mom.

I see friends posting on social media about celebratory occasions with their parents and it stings.

I have aunts, uncles and cousins and we are cordial, but not close. I sometimes feel like I don't have any close family members (I am also an only child). The people who meant a lot me (mom, dad, 4 grandparents) are dead.

[/quote]

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