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[quote=Anonymous]
You'll get a lot of varied opinions on this, OP, but I just want to push back on your assumption that everyone who is ambitious for their kid only does so for college admissions purposes.

They don't. I have a kid with learning disabilities and one who is gifted. I've had to adjust my parenting to cater to their specific needs, and out of necessity, one has required intensive tutoring and coaching, and the other has required early opportunities that have led them to achieve. But when they were little, I was not thinking AT ALL about the consequences on school placement. I had the larger goal of:
 A making the SN kid more functional so he could be financially independent as an adult, and B, keeping my gifted kid challenged so she wouldn't be suicidal.

Now they're in college and high school, I see that yes, that sort of parenting has made them more marketable to certain colleges (or allowed my oldest to go to college in the first place!).  But that was not the initial goal.

Also, I don't think we as parents can be someone we're not. In this educated part of the US full of subject-matter experts, a LOT of  people are detail-oriented and able to multitask. It makes sense that they would be ready to pay a lot of attention to their children's education, while holding down a job and having hobbies. It also makes sense that other types of parents, who might be in the majority in other regions of the US, would feel like they're in the minority here. But there's nothing wrong with either approach! You love your kids, you taught them right from wrong, and the value of hard work, they're not going to fail! Maybe they're not at a selective college. They still have all their life in front of them.

I don't think you should have any regrets, and neither should I.

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