Reply to What should I expect from my tween/teen kids as I support my aging parents?

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[quote=Anonymous]I totally regret spending too much time with my mother who has dementia instead of spending that time with my husband and kids. It can little by little become all encompassing. It’s like death by 1,000 cuts or a frog in a pot of water where the temperature slowly get turned up.

I was so run down and went to my doctor who said it is absolutely not sustainable and I was ruining my health. He says he sees so many women in their late 40’s/early 50’s who start taking on helping their parents out and say it is just until things get more settled and then lo and behold it’s five years later and they have given up way too much of themselves, their health has been affected,  have had stressful relationships with spouses, missed out on their kids, etc. He said you need to stop.

So I did. I stopped trying to save them money by doing everything. I stepped back and they had to use their money to hire help, I stopped taking them to dr. Appts, stopped cleaning for them, set up automatic deposits, automatic pill delivery, stopped going over daily to once a week. That forced them to move to assisted living. 
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