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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up as an introvert in a family that valued extroversion, and was constantly fending off "oh, go call so and so and get out and do something!" and "you're sitting in your room reading all the time - what's wrong?" Vacations were the worst since my younger sister was always insisting we go places and do exciting things, while I just wanted to hang out or go exploring and soak up just being where we were. As an adult, married to a similarly introverted husband, here is how we cope with family pressure. A lot of it is about maintaining some autonomy and control even in a group/communal situation.
1. We get our own house/space whenever possible, even if it costs a little more, and if it's not right next door, even better. If wherever we are staying is one house big enough for the entire family to share, we deal, but we definitely take occasional breaks by running errands or going for walks by ourselves or with only our kids.
2. My family takes an annual beach vacation. My parents and sister stay there, sharing 1 house, for 2 weeks and us for 1 week in our own house (b/c of limited vacation time, not because we dislike being there). We also have less disposable income. So when they want to fill up every minute with dinners out and mini golf and water parks and baseball games, we choose a few events that seem the most important and skip the rest. We tell them, "we drove 8 hours to be at the beach for a week, and we just want to relax and BE AT THE BEACH." If they don't like it, tough.
3. We try to avoid vacations where someone else is paying, because then they feel like they can control you. My parents wanted all of us to fly to Orlando for a family long weekend with my uncle's family. They were going to pay for the house but nothing else, which was very generous but the costs of flying all 4 of us there, renting a car, etc. meant our share of the house was a drop in the bucket. They also said they planned to hit a different park each day "as a family!!!"...argh!  We appreciated the gesture but were annoyed b/c we felt like we were being forced into it, and everyone was assuming it was convenient and fun for us, which it was not. We were also running out of vacation time and I was facing losing my job, so we didn't want to drop $2000+ on this trip. So we said, sounds great but no thanks, explained that my work situation meant we can't afford it, and, just as problematic, it was not a holiday weekend for our employers and we didn't have enough vacation time to go. My parents basically armtwisted us into going by giving us their frequent flyer miles, but the compromise was we went for a shorter time than everyone else, only went to one park, and using the last of my vacation time for Disney meant we could not come visit my parents Thanksgiving weekend as usual b/c I had to work Friday. 
4. If in any group housing situation, with family or friends, DH and I will take turns sneaking out for a solo walk/run while the other one runs interference.
5. DH and I are polite when pressured to do more! more! more!, but we are totally on the same page with the fact that we both need some quiet time and work hard to make sure each other gets it. We do not agree to plans with our families or anyone else without consulting each other.
6. We host everyone for a home-cooked dinner at our house or unit at least once during the trip. This demonstrates we want to be with them and do something social and bond and all that, but we have some control over the situation. Demonstrating that we want to be with them goes a long way toward offsetting hurt feelings that we don't want to hit the outlets en masse today...

If you haven't, read the book "QUIET: the power of introverts in a world that won't stop talking." It really justifies our existence and reinforces that our need for space and time to recharge is critical and important.[/quote]

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