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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Adoptee here.  This same situation apparently happened with me.  My mom reacted in the same way as you.  My dad jokes about how she thought about sending a photo of a different child but instead agreed to just take photos from far away.  [/quote]They do not sound like very nice people[/quote]

Oh for God's sake,[u][b] a woman chose to give up her child.  That's not "very nice" either. [/b][/u] I'd reserve my concerns about closure for the child who was given up, and I'd recommend doing everything possible to make it as easy as possible for adoptive parents to feel, and be, as secure as possible as the sole parents of their adopted children.  People complain that parent in the US don't want to adopt US-born children, and instead opt for foreign adoptions.  This is one of the reasons for that choice to adopt abroad.  Really, if I thought it was in my child's best interest to initiate a relationship with her birth mother, I'd initiate it.  But, I really don't think it's helpful to child or to the adoptive family to be pressured into contact with a birth parent only if and when the biological parent feels like it.   [/quote]

Wow, such animositsy towards birth parents.  I thought this was an educated, enlightened area.  Birth parent GAVE the child a life and then selected the best home she could for the child.  Angry much?  Ignorant much?

Signed, 
Adoptive Mom Who Is Grateful and Nonjudgmental Towards Her Daughter's Birth Family

PS  Learn the right language:

"to give up a child" = to place a child for adoption or to make an adoption plan

PPS  I recommend adoptive parents get some mental or emotional help if they do not feel comfortable as the "sole parents of their children."  Not limit contact b/w birth parents and the children.  ADOPTION IS ABOUT THE CHILDREN AND WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM and it's been demonstrated time and tiem again that it's better, not worse, for the children to have more and clearer understanding of their origins, not less.  Again:  ADOPTION IS FOR THE CHILDREN *NOT* for the PARENTS.  That is why these practices (more openness) have come into place.  If you are not comfortable with it, do you have your CHILD's best interests at heart, or your own?????????????[/quote]

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