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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Adoptee here.  This same situation apparently happened with me.  My mom reacted in the same way as you.  My dad jokes about how she thought about sending a photo of a different child but instead agreed to just take photos from far away.  [/quote]They do not sound like very nice people[/quote]

Oh for God's sake, a woman chose to give up her child.  That's not "very nice" either.  I'd reserve my concerns about closure for the child who was given up, and I'd recommend doing everything possible to make it as easy as possible for adoptive parents to feel, and be, as secure as possible as the sole parents of their adopted children.  People complain that parent in the US don't want to adopt US-born children, and instead opt for foreign adoptions.  This is one of the reasons for that choice to adopt abroad.  Really, if I thought it was in my child's best interest to initiate a relationship with her birth mother, I'd initiate it.  But, I really don't think it's helpful to child or to the adoptive family to be pressured into contact with a birth parent only if and when the biological parent feels like it.   [/quote]

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