Reply to Prostate Surgery Relationship Impact

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m mid-40s and was/is in a similar boat. Husband had surgery in 2020 and is slowly regaining ability to perform in a good-enough manner. It can take years for the nerves to regenerate from what I understand. Hang in there and don’t feel guilty for having your own needs. And thank you for starting this thread—I think a lot of partners are afraid to express their feelings about this.[/quote]

And there’s a ton of good info out there (and no, there is no “magic bullet” way to restore the prostate or go back in time).  But there is still hope; read up on work by surgeon Evan Goldstein out of NYC:

“ To start, Goldstein recommends reframing how you define sex — and asking your partner(s) to do the same.

“At the end of the day, how good sex feels and how pleasurable your orgasms feel will vary based on how you define ’sex’ and what you expect to get out of said sex,” he says. “Neither orgasm nor pleasure always needs to result in ejaculating across the room.”

And if you continue to expect your orgasms to be accompanied by a wet, voluminous release, you’ll ruin said orgasm with your expectations.

In other words, your first step is accepting that you’re not going to have ejaculatory orgasms anymore.

“The prostate and ejaculation play just one small part in sex,” Goldstein explains. “So, in the absence of a prostate or the ability to ejaculate, you can absolutely still find sex pleasurable.”
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