Reply to FYI: Every elderly person doesn’t behave badly just because they are sad or adjusting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nothing you describe is “mean” or malicious. It’s just not putting you and your feelings first (rightly or wrongly) and that clearly pushes your buttons. I’d sit and have a think about how I see the world if I were you. [/quote]

Yes it is. The neighbor is a millionaire and being absolutely petty about someone doing her a favor and mailing something for her. She must think the world revolves around her and people owe her favors instead of using her money to hire help.

I have a neighbor like this who is in her late 80’s or early 90’s. She is exceedingly wealthy yet she makes her son who is in his 60’s come and do her yard work every Friday. When he has surgery she made other relatives come and mow the lawn. [/quote]

OP here. And the thing is, I was going to the post office anyway and would have gladly mailed it. It was the set of instructions and the ‘no machines’ directive[/quote]

Hahaha…I have a parent like this.  Parent was always very controlling toward everyone, including spouse who is now primary caregiver.  The no machines directive is an attempt to control.  People either call my parent out or avoid them due to this behavior.  I’ve made it clear if parent wants my help I’m doing it in the manner most convenient for me.  Set your boundaries…I had to learn this. Caregiver parent also takes advantage.  I only help with clear boundaries. [/quote]

Setting boundaries really can with these types! I have a parent who is similar and they know that I’m going to take the convenient flight rather than the one that saves $100, that I’ll let them know if the temperature in the house is uncomfortable and expect it to be adjusted, that I’ll go out and get good coffee if what they have in the house is swill.

If your neighbor starts issuing post office directions, just say “I’ll be using the machines, would you like me to mail the package or not?” And then move on. You can’t expect them to proactively care about your comfort or convenience, but you can control what you offer and do.[/quote]

This is the way!  Excellent advice.  [/quote]

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