Reply to Dealing with abuse by a mentally ill family member

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, OP here and I am grateful to the thoughtful replies. I never considered CBT for this situation but it absolutely would be helpful. The constant stress of waiting for another surprise takes its toll and it would be helpful to have actual tools for dealing with that anxiety. I want to reiterate that we have zero contact with this person and have not for a decade, and we have zero desire to ever see her again. Ever. There is absolutely no wishful thinking apart from the stupid hope that we could be free of her.

I also appreciate the suggestion to have dual phones. In all of our years of changing contact info we somehow never considered that and I think it makes the most sense. Then we can treat our “family” phone as essentially a burner phone.

The package thing is more complicated because we do receive plenty of surprise packages from family friends and relatives for my children. But I wonder if I could hire one of our babysitters to open packages from Etsy or unknown senders every 6 weeks or so?

I appreciate all of these concrete suggestions. When we are in the midst of these “attacks” it is really hard to step away from our emotions and look at the situation in practical ways. Having you kind PPs to sort through this for me is a huge help.[/quote]

Surely your family knows the situation and can stop sending surprise packages. Also, they can learn to correctly write their return address. Unless she sends boxes in their name?
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Unfortunately there are plenty of people who don’t know all the details of our situation and send packages directly from companies or places like Etsy so it’s hard to guess at what every single package might be. Family is great about waiting for in-person gifts.[/quote]

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