Reply to What 50-50 custody schedule worked best for your 7 year old?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing about 2/2/5 is it's inconsistent as to days of the week. Some children do better with a schedule they can more easily understand, or there are logistical reasons to have them always in a certain home on a certain day of the week.

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It's not inconsistent. Ex. Dc with Dad Mon/Tues, Dc with Mom Wed/Thu, rotate Fri Sat Sun. [/quote]

[b]Right, so Fri Sat Sun are inconsistent[/b]. Some kids or families find this hard, others don't.

OP, ask yourself if you would like to live on this schedule yourself. Would you find it burdensome, even if someone else packed your suitcase for you?[/quote]

No, they are not inconsistent. One with Dad, one with Mom, repeat. And no suitcase needed-you live with your mother and your father and have needed items.

OP's not asking for your permission to divorce.[/quote]

OP"s asking what's best for a young child, and I'm saying a 14-day repeat can be hard for a kid to remember.

The "no packing needed" is a fantasy. There are always items to bring and the more variation in days of the week, the harder it is to remember. And even if you pack for the kid, it's still disruptive and time consuming. Nobody would love this way voluntarily, right? Why is that? Oh I know, because it's a pain and sucks.[/quote]

Why didn't your parents have what you needed at their respective houses? You lived with them both. There's no need to 'pack'.[/quote]

Because not everything can be duplicated. For example, if you're serious about a musical instrument other than piano, you don't alternate instruments. Partially finished schoolwork is another example. Parents aren't going to literally duplicate every object, so the kid will want to bring books they are reading, Lego builds, whatever projects they're engaged in. Sure, they had what I "needed" but it's not the same. And it's just a big disruption mentally and a timesuck. If you see your child as someone whose time and energy doesn't matter, then go ahead and tell yourself nothing is lost here. Whatever makes you feel okay about your choices, I guess.[/quote]

NP and just want to add I hear you. I was a 2255 kid and it was really hard to never feel settled. I'm 40 and still wake up on Fridays and think for a second, okay, where am I going after work, Mom's or Dad's?

OP, if it works for your daughter, I'm guessing your daughter would rather be with you than a sitter, Mom's day or not. Just be open to revisiting the arrangement and schedule as she grows. I wish my folks would have done that instead of sticking to a schedule that was decided when I was 7 (which was also how I old I was when they got divorced).

Good luck and wishing you the best. Divorce is hard.[/quote]

This. It's not about how many duplicate object you buy, or who physically puts the objects in the suitcase, or whose responsibility it is to remember every little thing. It's about feeling comfortable and settled in your home. All too often children of divorce feel like a guest in both homes and never truly settled in either place. The more you shuffle them back and forth to suit your own schedules and emotional needs, the harder it is for them. And of course the pressure to seem okay with it is a burden in itself. [/quote]

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