Reply to 9-year-old still not showering independently without needing assistance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’re expecting too much.  She’s barely 9.  Think about how many adults have regular salon visits to get their hair washed properly.  I think you can either focus on independence OR micromanage how she uses the products.  If you care so much about the products, put them in travel sized containers or give her a measuring spoon.  Honestly, I think you should help her wash her hair.

FWIW though, I’m Black, and I’d expect to have to help with washing and styling hair at least until adolescence, and getting a pro when needed. [/quote]

Thank you.  She’s my oldest and is very mature so sometimes I think I’m guilty of expecting too much of her.[/quote]

I have a question, because this topic of shower independence comes up a ton on DCUM - are you doing something else at that time, so that you can't help her shower? Or is it a feeling she needs bodily privacy? Something else?  It just seems so common that people are frustrated with their young kids for not managing bathroom routines alone. I feel like it's normal to have to help kids do stuff, especially boring stuff. [/quote]

A mixture of both.  I have two young children (8 months and 22 months) so around shower time my hands are full.

But, of course, I can help her if need be.

She does want the independence and privacy.  She loves to think she’s 13, not 9 and likes to do these little “spa day” role plays by herself in the bathroom.

I’m just a little frustrated that we’ve gone over the steps or how to throughly wash and condition hair, how to rinse and how much product to use numerous times a week for over a year and still seem to be struggling.

I think I just needed a better perspective as to if this was normal or not for her age. [/quote]

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