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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your options may feel like either leave or take over everything at once and announce to her that you are doing it, but in reality it is going to be in between. She is in cognitive decline (much of the paranoid behavior sounds like the early or mid stages of dementia) compounded by grief. Talk to the attorney handling the estate of your father about your concerns, and see if she's willing to go to the doctor for anxiety/sleep medication or a check up. Do not mention dementia or anything like that. You may also wish to have a consult with an elder care attorney, as you are not the first person in this situation. In the meantime, is there any way you can be put on accounts that are critical (insurance, utilities etc) to monitor? My mother's dementia was pretty carefully masked but came to light when bills started piling up and we discovered lots and lots of issues (both lapsed insurance policies, uncashed checks going back several years, and worst of all, being scammed of well over 100k). Much of this happened during covid and I lived across the country so it was not evident on the phone or to her friends etc.  She was still driving, but got into multiple fender benders. [/quote]
Thank you. I don’t think she’s going to allow me to be on any accounts right now, unfortunately. I’m going to see what the lawyer has to offer. So far, it appears the bills are being paid. Everything’s on paper and I’ve been seeing the envelopes on the table in the foyer before she takes them to the post office. I’ve been keeping an eye on her car—no dents, so far.[/quote]

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