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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me there was no doubt or question about wanting to take care of my elderly mother. Fortunately, my father had provided for her sufficiently to enable me to provide the kind of care that she deserved. For me I do the best that I can for the people I care about. I do recommend having boundaries so that the responsibility does not overwhelm your own needs and other responsibilities. That can be a tough balancing act. I was fortunate that my kids were grown before she needed a lot of my attention. I recognize that people with an unhappy upbringing will feel differently.[/quote]

Taking care is a very vague term. I would say most people take care of their elderly parents in one way or another. My question was more specific - what do you do and what do you feel obligated to do? Take them into your home, take them to Dr appointments, wash them, clothe them, feed them? Or have them in their own home and just supervise caregivers and visit a few times a week? Both are vastly different levels of care but both qualify are “taking care.”[/quote]

My parents are getting to that stage right now.  I feel obligated to make sure they are taken care of but I'm not doing any of the physical work nor would I ever take them into my home.  None of my siblings or I are physically doing any of it because we all live hours to a 5 hr flight away.  Among my siblings and I we spent the greater part of last year moving them out of their (incredibly cluttered) home and into a senior living community.  We found someone that goes to Dr's appointments with them and reports back to us since my parents get confused.  We are not paying for any of it-parents have saved enough to be able to live for a good 20+ more years in the facility they are in (they're 80).  We have also pretty much taken over oversight of their finances.  Dad still does the day to day bill paying but we have access to and can view their accounts any time.

Basically we're throwing money at the problem because they have to money to do so.  If they didn't my answers would be very different.  [/quote]

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