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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have the same problem. Usually he needed my help or wanted me to do something right then. My problem was I would drop everything and do it. Now I say, firmly and sometimes in an annoyed tone, I will when I’m finished or I’m doing something but I can later. He also would take up space like he’ll need to do something in the kitchen as I’m doing something and expect me to move. I now say, let me finish this first. He does not object to this.

My take is that he just expects to take up the space whenever he needs it, his needs come first, he’s not interrupting, he’s just doing the next thing, whereas as a woman I learned to adapt, move aside and be amenable. I think this kind of adaptability never occurred to him but as I said, now that I say something, he goes along with it.[/quote]

My DH does this and my oldest DS (now 20) is even worse.  They both have ADHD and I think it's a combination of impulse control and obliviousness.  They think it and then immediately do it without regard to how it's interrupting anyone.  With my oldest DS, I think there's an element of anxiety with it as well.  He 'needs' it done now - to the point that I can be in the house all day and have little interactions with DS.  I go out for a walk and 10 minutes later he calls me because he 'needs' something right now.  No, he can't wait until I get back to ask me......  :evil:

I try to establish boundaries/guidelines when I don't want to be disturbed and I explicitly point out when their behavior is having an impact they don't seem to be aware of - like taking up too much space when I'm trying to work in the kitchen or working in the one spot that blocks access to the trash, fridge and stove.

My DH isn't as bad as my DS and I'm really working on him because, as I repeatedly tell him, his lack of attententiveness will impact his relationships with anyone he lives with.  It doesn't matter if his actions are deliberate or not, the impact on people living with him is the same.  He needs to be more aware and considerate. [/quote]

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