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[quote=Anonymous]My opinion is that things often turn sour when a couple’s first baby is born- a tricky time for the grandparent/IL relationship. Usually the relationship recovers from any issues (eventually) but sometimes it sets up years of problems and resentment.

Jealousy of the “other grandparents” (usually paternal grandparents jealous of the mom’s parents), sharing opinions about hot button topics like bottle feeding vs breastfeeding, SAHM vs WOHM, etc, expectations around religious/cultural traditions (especially these days with so many culturally and religiously mixed marriages of various types). From the side of the new parents- often strange and rigid rules (no visitors at the hospital, or no visitors for x number of weeks after the birth etc).

I think if grandparents could ride out that first year by being flexible and complimentary, lowered expectations, keep opinions to themselves etc- a lot of these problems could be headed off. New parents can be difficult- it is a big life transition- but things tend to ease once baby is a little older. Often things are totally different by the time a couple has a 2nd child (if they do). Instead a lot of grandparents get emotional and barrel in, guns blazing, etc and tends to damage the relationship- sometimes even does lasting damage.

My 2 cents. [/quote]

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