Reply to Hungover from Narcissistic Mom Christmas?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in that familiar place again.

Just made it home after visiting my well-intentioned but narcissistic mom over the holidays.  She ended up yelling at me and (more concerningly) my daughter when we stayed with them.  She's old and cranky and not very flexible.

It happens every year.

I'm thinking we'll switch to staying elsewhere next year.  Maybe host the whole family at a rental home?

Anyone else feeling the after-effects of complicated family relationships rehashed once again at the most stressful time of the year, with your kids as the audience?[/quote]

I'm confused. By hosting the whole family do you mean you, your kid(s) and your mom or are there siblings or others also struggling with your mom? I would not host at a rental. if she behaves poorly, are you going to kick her out? You are a parent before you are a daughter in terms of priority. You need to figure out how you will handle if she yells at your child/children. Will she behave in public? How will you get her home if she doesn't? You need to model good boundaries for your children and show them you care about their emotional safety and will protect them.

Also, is your mom on medication to manage these outbursts? If not, see if she will talk to her doctor about her anger or you can let her doctor know so it assessed at the next visit. If she behaves this way, how will she keep hired help when needed? Once again you will be modeling for your kids abusive behavior is not OK and is a sign the person needs treatment. It's not even OK with brain decline or a brain tumor or mental illness. You do your best to endure the mood swings are treated if they are harming others.[/quote]

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