Reply to Son asked me if I work odd hours to avoid him

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I work a corporate 9-5 and am the breadwinner in our family. I have mom guilt because my kids are in aftercare during the school year and camp in the summer. When they were in the daycare years, I felt mom guilt because they were in daycare. I feel mom guilt when I travel three times a year for work. I feel mom guilt when I forget it’s purple shirt day, or when my kids have to buy lunch at school because I was in a rush and didn’t have time to pack lunchboxes.

During covid, I had mom guilt because sometimes I would need to be on a conference call during one of the many “screen breaks” or over the designated “lunch time” during the virtual day. Or because sometimes I had a deadline to hit before we could play “after school”. Or because I didn’t have a dozen hula hoops to organize and execute a “virtual field day”.

I have mom guilt when I let them watch TV on a Sunday morning at the end of a two-week break that I have “Christmas Magicked” the hell out of so that I can dissociate and post on DCUM.

Do you know who has no mom guilt? My husband, who has spent the past two weeks working from home while I make magic and entertain the kids. I bet your husband feels no mom guilt either when he is at work during the week, and puts them in front of the TV on the weekends so he can get a break.

Point being, you’re probably going to have mom guilt regardless of what you do. The standards for mom, [b]which are mostly self-imposed (with influence from Instagram and DCUM), [/b]are unattainable. Tell your kids you work those hours because those are the hours you need to work, and then move on. Or work with your DH to budget for childcare and switch your hours to weekday ones, but honestly, the mom guilt’s not going to go away.[/quote]

Also worth adding decades of gender roles largely controlled by men. Let’s not pretend gender roles are new and solely imposed by women today. (I have to clarify this, I doubt pp meant that).[/quote]

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