Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will say this: if you do have a kid, have ONE KID. You will see, when you read over the threads here, that almost every "what have I done, my life is hell" posts are from people with two kids. I am one of those people. I love love love BOTH of my sons, but having two kids was the hardest thing that ever happened. I spend my time managing them instead of enjoying them. When I had just one, it was joyous. Two was, and continues to be, very hard and had I known, I would have only had one. Even though the second is the joy of my life. :-)

But if you are as much an introvert as you say, and you know yourself, then you really need to re-consider. Unless your DH will be the stay-at-home parent in which case you can probably swing it. There's no space for introversion in parenting. Really. [b]The only time I get alone-time is if they're watching TV or asleep and that's just not enough[/b].[/quote]

ITA!

My mother is an introvert and looking back as an adult, I realize that she should have never had children (she actually admitted this to me in a moment of anger a few years ago). Not to say that all introverts should not have kids, but my mom is introverted, controlling and self-centered, bad combination! She loved my brother's personality (introvert like herself) but constantly was annoyed by my extroversion.  She would always tell me that I talked too much or to be quiet and never seemed to want to talk and spend time with me.  I remember her doing a lot of reading in her room or spending time with our pets.  As a grandparent she is still disengaged and thinks my son is too hyper, willful, (the list goes on).  She is amazed that he doesn't drive me crazy.   As a only child, he is very independent and at 5 yrs old will play by himself for 1-2 hrs per day after school/camp.  However, OP, you do not get that much time for yourself with a child.  My husband and I look forward to 8p!

Also, I was ambivalent about having a child and my husband didn't want any.  Got pregnant (on birth control!) and decided to go with it (I am pro choice, but I wouldn't terminate  under my situation).  I am glad I had him and I love him a lot-- hard to describe how much!  But if you have the opportunity to decide, really think about it.[/quote]

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