Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't. My ex never wanted kids, also an introvert. Oldest DS has some SN. He was miserable and bailed. He sees the kids but doesn't really seem to have fun with or enjoy them. He is dating but never wants to have kids and said recently he wishes he didn't have kids, he was happy with me before. He said that he was selfish and liked his alone time. I said it was a deal breaker and broke up with him, he came back weeks later but didn't really have the commitment to raising happy kids. He was never social in the family or really built friendships or memories around it. Our second is super social and didn't get those needs or experiences. You have to be so motivated to meet their needs and even then it is hard.

I wouldn't do it if I were you, it's so not fair to the kids. I knew families growing up where the dad was the primary parent and the mom had the single kid basically for the dad and the kids suffered. They deserve 2 parents who are likely to be able to be madly in love with them and give a LOT for years. You may be able to do that but it's not a given.[/quote]

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