Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous]If you aren't sure, don't do it.  My MIL never had the urge to have children.  She doesn't like them and she has no clue how to raise them.  She made all three children feel as if she resented them and it has caused them all severe psychological harm.  DH is the only one of his siblings that is married and the only one who has children.   The other two are just too damaged.  DH's brother is a 45 year old man that has never been married and only dates really young women and has had no relationship longer than a few months. 
DH's sister is closing in on 40 and has no maternal instinct what so ever.  She has been dating the same guy for seven years now and they will never marry or have children together.  She used to babysit for us until I discovered she thought we weren't strong enough parents and she hit my kids and was verbally abusive with them.  Through my children she realized that she doesn't have it in her.  Sadly my children had to suffer.

No one knows what they are really doing when they have a child.  I just think there are people who should never have them.  If you think this is you then don't do it.  The child will be the one that suffers.

When DH and I married we talked about having children.  We both were on the fence about it.  Our birth control failed and our decision was made for us.  Since neither of us had sworn them off completely it wasn't a huge deal for us.  I didn't have a ticking clock or the feeling that I needed to have children to complete my life.  I have always been very maternal and enjoyed children and spending time with them.  I had 5 nieces and 4 nephews when I got married the oldest of whom was six and this could explain why I didn't feel motivated to have children of my own.[/quote]

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