Reply to Feel Deeply Unloved by Family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well it sounds like you don't live near them. Your visits would interrupt their flow. You wouldn't get their inside jokes. Focus on the family you create.[/quote]

It’s OP’s mom or brother![/quote]

I know; I read the OP. What's your point? [/quote]

My point was that the PP sounded emotionally tone deaf just like OP’s mom and brother. I thought maybe you actually are those people![/quote]

I'm not emotionally tone deaf. But OP is 50 years old! Look, I have some cousins I'm really close with and others I barely speak with bc we have nothing but blood in common. Different personalities, different interests, etc. At 50 OP should have made peace with this.[/quote]

Not feeling close to some cousins is very different from feeling unloved by your parents. Your parents/siblings are your first relationships. Feeling rejected by those people can undermine your sense of self. It can be very difficult to feel like a worthwhile person if you family of origin does not seem to care for you at all.

And one thing that happens to a lot of people who experience this is that they just put it behind them when they leave their families of origin and might think they are over it. They make friends, forge relationships with others, have kids. But as you age, and especially if you become a parent, you discover that your childhood stays with you forever. You might think those wounds are gone, but they'll come back up in surprising ways at mid-life. You cannot run from your past. Eventually you have to tangle with it. That's what OP is dealing with.

If you haven't been through this, if you had a loving family who made you feel wanted, count yourself lucky.[/quote]

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