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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the kind words, suggestions and sharing of your own stories.  No one equips us for this.  Today was especially hard- my mom has weird reactions to narcotics and they gave her a “baby dose” of oxy to get her prepped for PT and I could see that hospital delirium come back.  She was a total nut, it’s super horrible for me because she takes her crazy out on me, and she won’t remember a thing and I’ll be traumatized with the memories.  And she was a zombie for PT.  So no more narcotics she’ll just have to push through the pain.

I am very worried about the endoscopy.  They ruled out an active bleed with the CT but anesthesia set her back 4-5 months last year and she never made it back to her baseline from prior to the anesthesia.  So I need to think on whether the juice is worth the squeeze.  And have a frank discussion with my brother.  I am the POA and my normal mom would never want to be living like this.  She’s told both of us she hates what’s happening to her, she’s had a great life and she doesn’t see the point of moving on. She’s always been very clear on her feelings but I need my brothers blessing because this is an important decision and it’s just too much responsibility for me to make this decision on my own.  So I have a lot of thinking and pros and cons to work out.  Realistically the endoscopy will keep her in the hospital for several more days due to how I know she’s going to respond to the anesthesia.  And that’s several more days she’ll be in bed and not moving her muscles.  Without it we may be able to get her into a SNF rehab which is my ultimate goal.

But they think the fall was caused by the internal bleeding making her dizzy and lightheaded.  So if she goes to rehab without us getting an answer or maybe getting something fixed then this could happen again.  So I’m completely torn.

Thanks for the suggestion of palliative care, that is a way easier term to swallow.  I already did have to tell the hospital not to take any lifesaving measures if she were to stop breathing.  That was hard.  But I know it’s what she wants.  Thanks again, I hope you all have a merry Christmas.[/quote]

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