Reply to dc/w ASD, vocal stims/flapping in stores?

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Reply to "dc/w ASD, vocal stims/flapping in stores?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know that it bothers her? Does she say it bothers her?[/quote]

Yes. She'll say 'that lady looked at me weird. She thinks I'm weird' or something like that.[/quote]

What if you said "I think she wasn't expecting that sound from you"? What would your DD say?[/quote]

I'm not sure. I think she'd probably just not answer. Usually, I say (quietly, not angrily) 'look around, is anyone else barking?' but that hasn't seemed to stop it.[/quote]

I would be MUCH more direct. “She looked at you because you are barking.” [/quote]

I feel like I have said something to that effect at times. Maybe I should say it just like above.

I appreciate the responses here! And that they 'get it'. It's not like I can ask my mom friends of NT kids, 'hey, what do you do when your kid barks at Target?' LOL[/quote]

NP. I agree, I think you should have a direct conversation with her about it. First, I would try to get a sense if they are stims that she can control, or if they are tics that she really can't control. For stims, I would explain that everyone has stims when they are really little, but most people stop doing them when they are 3 or 4, and people who keep doing them often just do them in private or only around family. You don't have to encourage her to not do them, but just let her know it's not something other people expect to see in a store, so it might surprise them and they might stare. Yes, staring is rude, but it happens.

If they are tics and she hasn't had tics before, I would talk to a doctor.

My son's stim is/was twirling his hair and talking to himself. He is a tall teenager and wants to shop separate from me, so I made sure he understood that other people would notice and think it was odd if they heard him talking to himself. Knowing that was enough to get him to stop doing it in public, which made me feel relieved. The same people who are understanding about a small special needs child can misunderstand and become afraid when they are dealing with an adult-sized teen who is behaving in unexpected ways.[/quote]

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